Please help me get better so I can write more for you.

thebibliosphere:

I know I asked for help a few months ago with getting our furnace repaired, and people were so overwhelmingly generous and kind in helping us have heat for the winter, and as much as I am loathed to do it again, I find myself with no other option. My husband is already working as much overtime as he can to keep us above water without compromising his own health, and I’ve tried to find work which my limited health would allow for, but so far no luck. Even if I had editing work every day all day, it wouldn’t be enough to cover my medical expenses. I had really thought by now that we’d be in a better situation, that my
health would have gotten better or at the very least remained stable
enough that I could live with my symptoms. But I can’t. I can’t go on living with acute attacks of pain in my side that take my breath away so that I can’t even cry, and I certainly cannot go on enduring the chronic, exhausting pain that eating is causing me. I can’t go on existing on watered down broth just to try and have some form of sustenance as my weight plummets and the rest of my health follows. I need testing and I need it sooner rather than later, and my insurance is fighting me for every penny.

At the moment it looks like my endoscopy and biopsy alone is going to cost anywhere between $3000 to $4000, and my insurance is unlikely to cover all of it. I also need another ultrasound which my insurance is bringing down to $300 from $500. None of this even covers the pathologist fee or the anesthetist who cannot give me an estimated cost at this time, nor does it cover follow up treatments. This is to say little of the medical bills from January when a routine CT scan resulted in me almost dying inside the machine as I went into delayed anaphylactic shock from the IV contrast solution. That bill is still being disputed by my provider, but is so far sitting at several thousand dollars worth of medical debt.

I’m applying for medical assistance, but because we earn just above the threshold, help is unlikely, leaving us to negotiate payment plans which still leave us with very little money to live on each month. God forbid something else in the house breaks because we wont be able to fix it. My parents— who are 4000 miles away— are already paying my remaining dental bills.

I’m not asking for a miracle, I know times are hard for everyone and there’s not a day goes by where I don’t see a post like this. I’m just…I need help, I need help so badly I just don’t know what to do anymore and if there’s nothing else I believe in on this earth it’s the human capacity for kindness.

Several people have told me to set up a gofundme or a youcaring, and I am looking into those right now and hope to set them up once I have a more accurate idea of what my bills will be (and will post photos and screenshots of them), but in the meantime my paypal is up and running. (if you cannot use paypalme then the email for it is fi.s.bizzel @ live.com) Even if all you can spare is $2, that’s $2 I can use to get the bus so my husband doesn’t need to take the day off work to drive me to clinics.

In return I will write you anything you want. Anything. My main fandoms are Discworld, Dishonored, Dragon Age, The Parasol Protectorate and Finishing School, and some Star Wars. I can even post original content if anyone would be interested in that —I’m currently working on a polyamorous supernatural romance which several people have expressed interest in, donating would enable me to keep working on this and hopefully get it up on amazon kindle sooner, and I would count donations towards receiving a final e-format of the book if you so desire.

And I know it’s a lot to ask for, I really do know. I’ve looked at my friends posting things like this before and wished I could do more than give them the last $10 in my bank account for that month. But even if all you can do is reblog and send well wishes, that too will help a lot and I will forever appreciate it. I wouldn’t be doing this again if it wasn’t desperate, and I hope you can forgive me, especially when I know there are others out there so much worse off. But I really am at breaking point. I can’t hide that anymore.

Thank you to everyone so far who has sent me lovely messages and words of encouragement. You give me hope and strength where I thought there was no more to be had. I love you, and I hope you know that.

-tumblr mom x