Patron Saint of Moonlight Drownings

evilkillerpoptarts:

themiscyra1983:

evilkillerpoptarts:

Okay, folks who are more clever than me, please give me a hand.

I’m trying to rewrite “Hail Mary.”  Here’s what I’ve got:

Hail Carrie, Queen of Space, 

The Force is with thee; 

She who drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra.  

Holy Carrie, the batshit crazy, 

Remind us to take our meds, 

So we can live to tell the universe to fuck off. 

Amen

If you can come up with a better cadence to make it fit better, that’d be awesome.

I took some liberties, so it’s not a close scan to the common English form of the Ave Maria, but here’s a go:

Hail Carrie, Queen of Space,
The Force is with thee;
Blessed art thou amongst the mad and free,
And blessed too is thy companion, Gary.
Holy Carrie, drowned in moonlight,
Strangled by thine own bra,
Help us to take our meds, to walk with thy strength,
And to tell all creation to fuck off, forever.
Amen.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS