bomberqueen17:

my dude, cooking: a vignette

We are having pasta for dinner. Just– spaghetti with jarred sauce and frozen sausages cooked in the toaster oven. (The Found Cat special. With box wine. ❤ Hey they said to write what you know.)

#1 I did not know this before today, but. So. We have a big saucepan we use for pasta and such. It’s big, it’s got two small handles, it’s RevereWare, it was my grandma’s. It’s like, 4 quart capacity, at least. 

My dude measures cups of water into it to boil pasta. Me, I just stick it under the tap and turn it on and come back after a while and swear and turn it off and dump a little out so there’s headroom for the pasta to expand. But no. Dude actually uses a Pyrex two-cup measure to fill it, turning the tap off between cup fulls to dump it carefully. Fills it to the two-cup fill line. 

#2 I had seen this before but hadn’t really… remarked it… Dude takes a candy thermometer and hooks it on the edge of the pot as he boils it. “Water boils at 212,” I said. “And like, you know it’s boiling because. You know. It boils.” “I know,” he said. “… Why do you need a thermometer?” I asked, slowly. “I like to know how hot the water is so I know how soon it’ll be done!” he said, defensive. I looked at the thermometer. “See,” he said, “it’s at like, 190, which is pretty hot, but the water looks the same as if it was at 140, which isn’t hot at all.” “Okay,” I said. “So, how many minutes does it typically take for the pot to go from 190 to 212? How long do you have now?” 

He looked flummoxed. “I don’t know,” he said. “Longer than you’d think.”

So… what good does it do to know whether the water’s 140 or 190? It can’t possibly really help much with the timing. 

“It’s like a progress meter!” he said, gesticulating at it. “Look, it’s even got a dial!”

I could understand measuring the water exactly and using a thermometer if he was doing science to it, like writing it down or something, but he’s not, he’s just… making it more difficult than it has to be.

I left and went into the living room, because he was sulking that I was “judging” him. [n.b. he’s not really sulking, he’s pretending because it’s funny.]

I would absolutely steal that for a story but I cannot imagine what character would possibly measure the water and use a thermometer without also writing it down and timing it, or something. And if a character did, someone would surely shake their head and say ‘that’s a pointless bit of characterization, who would even do that’

Real life is so much weirder than fiction because real people are so fucking weird.

Well…..there is the trope that Steve Rogers can’t cook. I can just imagine Bucky/Tony/Bruce watching Steve trying to ‘science up’ dinner with it and then some sort of debate breaking out about it.