FRANK AND JAMES OH GOD. I saw your response where you said it might take a whole other fic to work through their stuff and I AM ON BOARD. That was such an awesome surprise! THEY JUST NEED TO BE HAPPY. (And I love 616!Bucky so James and his mask tan line made me giggle into my coffee)

spitandvinegar:

Hi!! To tide you over, here are some

Fun Facts About James and Frank!

– Ok so in the story the first difference between their universes that they figure out is that Frank is physically different from James’ original Steve (Frank’s intersex), but there are actually MANY OTHER DIFFERENCES, and they start recording them in a composition notebook. James writes “shit that’s different” on the front of the notebook because he can’t help but be the way that he is. Some of the first differences that they discover: Frank can’t deal with spicy food (other Steve was a hot sauce guy), he loves dogs, especially big dumb ones (other Steve wasn’t a huge animal person), he’ll eat pineapple on pizza (other Steve hated it with a vicious firey passion and would get angry if he was reminded that such a thing existed).

– Frank is a lot less dramatic than your statistically average S.G. Rogers. On occasions when other Steves will say something in French to an enemy and then do a backflip Frank will just roll his eyes a little and punch said enemy in the face.

– Things that James has recently said out loud: “Holy fucking cow” “Jiminy goddamned crickets” “Jeepers creepers, you scared the shit out of me” “What kind of a dumb Dora do I look like, fuckface?” “the hot-assed gunsel that you see before you” “I like taking a big dick up my ass just as much as the next fella,” “get a wiggle on, assholes,” “At the time I was splifficated and neck-deep in pussy.”

– Despite ostensibly being the Oldest and Most Psychologically Healthy Bucky With Good Self-Care Habits and Self Esteem Whom Other Buckys Aspire to Emulate, James and Barnes have similar problems with stress eating, stress cleaning, stress home repairs, and stress vigilantism.

– Frank and Padre bond over this. “Mine had a flashback and then spent four hours regrouting the bathroom tile.” “Mine had a tough day at therapy and singlehandedly broke up a dogfighting ring.”

– James is so clearly and distinctly Team Mom that no one even bothers to joke about it. Like, you wouldn’t joke about your literal mom being Team Mom, either.
He is the only reason that the entire team isn’t constantly in a profound state of encrusted filth and low blood sugar.

– James REALLY LOVES KIDS. Like, a lot. And anything involving Bad Stuff happening to kids kind of fucks him up hardcore and leaves him all shaken and sad and in need of tending.

– Frank and James are the most Old Married of Old Marrieds. They
communicate through Significant Looks, they have weird circular
arguments that don’t make any sense outside of fifteen years of
relationship context, and often enjoy hyper-efficient Old Married Sex
where everyone has an orgasm and then falls asleep within five minutes
without having taken off their cozy flannel PJs.

– They have matching cozy flannel PJs.

– Frank has a truly humbling collection of gigantic dildos, because nothing but the best for his best guy.

– Frank is also the most macho out of all of the Steves, in this very straighforward dadly Mountain Lodge kind of way where he admires and respects those who enjoy Ladylike Pursuits in the same way that he admires and respects literal wizards. Like he loves steak, baseball, beer, sex, motorcycles, 900 page books about military history, fishing, sketching nice straightforward nature scenes, etc. He’s such a Dude that he mistakes James’ fondness for French food and clean grout and getting pounded up the ass for delicate feminine sensibilities. So like, Grant will joke about being “the sensitive artistic type” (Grant is currently very preoccupied with designing and hand lettering his own wedding invitations) and Frank will be all “Like James!” and everyone will be like “… no, not like him.” Meanwhile, James, chain smoking and looking at porn on his phone: “You guys talking about me?”