Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”
And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”
Her response was, “Well, are you?”
My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.
The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”
I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.
Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular – but guys, value your allies.Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.
Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.
Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place – when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.
Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.
Signal boost to this unbelievably important message.
A little story set in an alternate universe about how one man asked out a kind florist…
This mini-comic was made possible with the support of my Patreon patrons! Join our little Heartstopper gang on Patreon to gain access to exclusive artwork, bonus content, early pages, and more! www.patreon.com/aliceoseman
Charlie, a highly-strung, openly gay over-thinker, and Nick, a cheerful, soft-hearted rugby player, meet at a British all-boys grammar school. Friendship blooms quickly, but could there be something more…?
Nick and Charlie are characters from my debut novel, Solitaire. Heartstopper updates three times a month, on the 1st, 11th, and 21st.
i really appreciate reblogs and shares – please help me spread word about this comic! i’m so excited for people to read it!
As I understand it, the Order of Operations is as follows:
1. Focus on the Tax Bill. That’s happening this week. Shoot it down.
2. Immediately afterward, start promoting Doug Jones in Alabama and reminding everyone of Roy Moore’s problems. That election is on December 12.
3. In the meantime, Net Neutrality. The FCC votes on December 14th. Protest, boost, research, do whatever you can.
I know #MeToo is important, I know Old Man Donald is still being a jerk, I know North Korea has a nuke, none of these are going to be dealt with before Christmas. There are three fronts to this fight: taxes, Alabama, FCC. These are the focal points. If we can win one of those, it’s going to have ramifications for the future. If we can win two, we’re in a pretty good place. We win all three, 2017 was a Good Year.
Let’s take a look at some screenshots of an article I was reading earlier today…
Keyword: was. They don’t support net neutrality anymore. Why you ask? well…
Tumblr is owned by Yahoo. Now that Verizon (a company that hates net neutrality) bought Yahoo, they have demanded that Tumblr must stop supporting net neutrality too. The Tumblr staff has stopped posting about net neutrality.
This site is being forced to hate net neutrality. (article link)
this is why all those net neutrality posts are disappearing from your feeds. don’t let it do so
I literally cannot get out of bed this morning because of this fuckery. Like. What’s the point?
All right, all right. Here it is, the thread I mentioned that was my only hope and consolation. It’s long, so I’m starting with one screencap, and then it’s transcription. If you love it, click through and donate to the original author.
[Transcription of Twitter thread by @alexandraerin:] Alright, babies. I got my drink on and I got my think on, and so here’s the thing I want us all to remember.
Paul Ryan didn’t stand around a keg predicting he’d dismantle Medicare. He planned on it.
I point this out because I’m going to talk about how we get out of this mess, and I know I’m going to get a bunch of people asking me: “Do you really think that will happen?”
No. No, I do not think it will happen.
Because I’m not making predictions.
I’m making plans.
Whether they pass this monstrosity tonight or not, we are going to nail them to the fudging wall they keep threatening to build with it in 2018 and 2020. We’re going to be so mad and we’ll turn out so hard their voter suppression schemes won’t be enough to save them.
And when we have removed their majorities in Congress and taken Trump out of our White House, we are going after his judges. We’re going to call them the tainted judges. We’re going to put an asterisk by every decision they make.
We’re going to fund the appeals of anyone who is found guilty or has an appeal denied under the tainted judges. We’re going to challenge their legitimacy at every turn, because they were appointed illegitimately.
Until the day that Gorsuch resigns in shame, we’re going to call the Supreme Court “the Star Chamber”, because it’s got an asterisk on it.
We’re going to get journalists to do it, too. The old guard won’t, but the new guard is moving in. Citizen-journalists making a name for themselves. And hey, there are vacancies in some top positions right now, which will create more openings in the ranks. I bet more are coming.
Thanks so much to everyone who purchased last year and supported me by reblogging. I love my followers so much and look forward to 2018, filled with even more marvel (how bout that infinity war trailer, eh?)
Tumblr Exodus 