I want the recipe for the mustard-roasted potatoes, and if it’s any good, for the chicken and dumplings. If you please, kind sir.
IT IS. He is my culinary avatar. It was either that one or
I’ll post the mustard potatoes recipe if it turns out to be any good. The chicken and dumplings is more of a procedure than a recipe, it’s for the pressure cooker, but I’ll check in with Sci and see if she’s ok with me posting it.
Sci’s Mostly Fudged Recipe for Chicken and Dumplings for your Electric Pressure Cooker
(I use bone in chicken thighs, 4-6 of them for this recipe, because they are cheap and plentiful and I like dark meat better. You can easily use chicken breasts, but if you use boneless, I’d reduce the cook time a bit)
-Roll chicken in poultry seasoning, salt, pepper, thyme and whatever other seasonings you have and like. Let this sit in the fridge while you get the pot ready and get things going.
-Roughly chop an onion and a stalk of celery if you have it, including the leaves.
-Turn pressure cooker to sauté, add butter or oil just to shine the bottom of the pan. Saute onions and celery, then remove from cooker.
-If your oil/butter is gone, add a little more. Add chicken, brown on both sides. Cook in multiple batches if you need additional room.
-Remove chicken from the pot and add 3-4 cups of chicken stock or broth, a tablespoon of soy sauce and a splash of Worcestershire if you have it. This will both help the taste and also make the gravy look less… Anemic. Stir pot to make sure that any browned on bits are removed from the bottom of the pot and won’t end up burning. If you have fresh herbs (parsley, rosemary, ect) chop up a few leaves and toss ‘em in with the broth. Add veg and chicken, make sure that the broth covers the chicken. If it doesn’t, add a little more liquid.
-Close lid and lock, closing the steam vent. Set pressure cooker for 20 minutes.
-When time is up, quick release the steam, open the lid, and remove the chicken from the pot. Put the cooker back to ‘saute’ and bring the broth to a boil while you pull chicken off the bone or shred boneless chicken.
-Make dumplings from favorite recipe. I use bisquick’s, because I’m lazy. Consider replacing some of the liquid in the dumplings recipe with some of the broth, especially if you’ve added herbs, because it results in a much tastier dumpling.
-Once the broth has been back at a roiling boil, drop dumplings by small spoonful into the liquid. They will puff and spread almost immediately. Try to space them out a bit.
-Close lid and wait about five minutes with the pressure cooker on sauté and the steam vent closed.
-Open cooker, remove a dumpling and cut into it to make sure it’s cooked all the way through. If it’s not, put cover back on for another minute or two. If it is, remove dumplings to a plate or bowl. The broth should’ve absorbed some of the starch/flour from the dumplings and be closer to gravy now. If it’s not thick enough for you, stir a bit of milk into a tablespoon or two of cornstarch and add to broth to thicken. If it’s too thick, add just milk.
-The gravy will be a bit lumpy and not particularly attractive because of A. bits of dumpling and B. the veg. But dang it tastes good.
-Eat over rice, mashed potato, or just with the dumplings. You can toss frozen vegetables into the hot gravy at the end, or serve with roasted carrots, or a salad. Works well as leftovers.
Real Irish Food: 150 Classic Recipes from the Old Country by David Bowers (2014 paperback edition, ISBN-13: 9781629143149) is my favorite Irish cookbook for Americans. If you are an American and want to get yourself an Irish cookbook, make it this one.
Booklist’s starred review explains a lot of why it is such a good cookbook:
“Destroying long-held perceptions isn’t necessarily the aim of today’s cookbook author, yet that’s exactly what transplanted Dublin chef Bowers does, along with some very seductive photographs of his own. Through his personal introduction and an enjoyable narrative in every chapter’s upfront section, and every recipe’s preface, we learn, for instance, that corned beef and cabbage is a poor representation of Irish cuisine (and fish and chips, for that matter). Instead, expressing the same sentiment as his counterparts throughout the world, he insists the best prepared “native” foodstuffs rely on locally sourced, seasonal ingredients that nod to special traditions. A hearty breakfast defines the Irish heritage; he goes a few steps further than the porridge and Irish sausage routine by featuring tailored-to-contemporary-tastes vegetarian fry. Every one of his dozen topics, in fact, melds the past and present of the best in Irish culinary lore, along with explanations galore (e.g., “We’re not so big on little fiddly sweets … we tend to like our sweets a bit more understated”). Recipes aren’t necessarily compact or time-compressed or calorie-conscious; the final dish, though, will more than meet eaters’ satisfaction, regardless of nationality.”
From the blurb
People in Ireland are sometimes mortified by what Americans think of as “Irish food.” That’s because the real thing is much subtler and more delicious than any platter of overcooked corned beef and mushy cabbage could ever be. Real Irish food is brown soda bread so moist it barely needs the yolk-yellow butter; fragrant apple tarts with tender, golden crusts; rich stews redolent of meaty gravy and sweet carrots; crisp-edged potato cakes flipped hot from a skillet directly onto the plate. Forget meatloaf or mac and cheese—this stuff is the original comfort food.
Real Irish Food is the first comprehensive cookbook to bring classic Irish dishes to America with an eye for American kitchens and cooks, and with tips and tricks to help reproduce Irish results with American ingredients. Transform plain white fish by baking it with grated sharp cheese, mustard, and crumbs. Discover that celery takes on new life when sliced, simmered in chicken stock, and served in a lightly thickened sauce.
Recipes include: – Homemade Irish Sausages – Potted Shrimp and Potted Salmon – Finglas Irish Stew with Dumplings – Whiskey Chicken and Roast Goose with Applesauce – Boxty, Cally, Champ, and Colcannon – Apple Snow, Almond Buns, and Summer Pudding – Elderflower Lemonade, Black Velvet, and Ginger Beer – Cherry Cake, Custard Tart, and Brandy Butter
From hearty roasts to innovative vegetable dishes, from trays of fresh-baked scones to rich, eggy cakes, and from jams bursting with tart fruit to everything you can do with a potato, there’s no food so warm and welcoming, so homey and family-oriented, so truly mouthwatering as real Irish food.
not combat rations, thats for sure. ive had enough of those for a lifetime.
but my latest food hit has been pretzel bites. pretzels are an awesome food but rarely available fresh when i want to eat them, which is usually when i’ve woken up in the middle of the night. they’re relatively labor-intensive to make, which is good once the insomnia sets in. keeps me busy. plus, pretzels are sweet on the inside, salty on the outside, just like me. except im also salty on the inside. dont listen to steve.
when i make pretzels, it’s by the metric ton, so the recipe i have makes approximately a million of them.probably you will not want this many, because you don’t have thor or steve to help you eat them. or clint. probably you could just shove some into a vaccum cleaner instead, thatd be about the same. so divide the recipe in half or quarters for normal human consumption. take 11 cups of flour, 1 cup of brown sugar, ½ cup of oil and mix. 4 cups of warm water gets 11 teaspoons of yeast and sits for a bit, then goes in the flour mix. then mix it and let it rise for about an hour. the dough should be sticky to the touch and absolutely awful to get out of your metal fingers. while you wait, wander your living area for some poor sucker to rope into helping you, because stage 2 is easier with help. or you can sit down and wonder why you talk yourself into doing things like this. consider your choices. it’s already too late to go back to sleep; youve got dough rising.
get a deep fry pan or sauce pan and fill with about two inches of water. bring it to a rolling boil on the stove and add in three or so tablespoons of baking soda. you really can’t do too much of that, as long as the water’s not getting super cloudy. preheat the oven to 400 degrees. wake steve up and tell him he has to help.
get a couple egg yolks in a bowl with a basting brush, and find some kosher salt or sea salt. grease up a few pans.
flour a surface and roll the dough out until it’s between ½ and ¼ in thick. get your poor unsuspecting minion to cut out bite sized bits. i use an inch and a half circle cookie cutter, but you can use whatever you want, really. tony used a laser cutter last time i let him help, which was…not ideal.
drop the cut outs into the boiling soda water, and let them sit for a few seconds, then fish them out. you can use your robot hand for that, but again, you’ll be getting dough out of it for days. i let them drip dry on a cookie drying sheet, but you could also drop them on a clean dishtowel i guess. you just dont want them to be wet when you put them on the cookie sheet.
they’re not gonna expand a ton, so just stuff em up close to each other on the sheet. paint the tops with egg yolks and sprinkle with salt. pop em in the oven for 10-15 min or until golden brown.
repeat the boiling-and-baking until you want to die, then keep going until you run out of dough. while the last batch is baking, take a half a stick of butter, a quarter cup of flour and make a roux in a saucepan. add two cups of milk and two cups of cheddar cheese, some salt and pepper to taste, and a quarter cup of mustard, give or take. im showing you how much to use with my hands but you cant see it. sorry, i dont really measure stuff most of the time. heat and stir till it’s melty and amazing, and dip pretzels on in there.
by the time you have completed this process and eaten as many pretzel bites as you want–and there will be enough. it’s a dang big recipe–you will want to enter a food coma and sleep forever. or for 70 years or so.
there. insomnia fixed.
It’s 4:30 am and I am, yet again, making a quadruple batch of insomnia pretzels, this time with barbeque cheddar sauce. There are 16 people currently asleep in my house; I would be shocked if these things lasted more than 12 hours.
For those who don’t have a million people to feed, a normal-sized batch of dough is as follows; follow all other instructions as-is.
2 ¾ (ish) cups flour
¼ cup brown sugar
1/8 cup oil
1 cup warm water
3 teaspoons yeast
If you’re not feeling salty/cheesy pretzels, you can also coat these in brown sugar & cinnamon and dip them in icing.
Special thanks to Nimitz, The Terror Of The Underbrush, She Who Eats Egg Whites, and to Ben, the fellow insomniac/night shift guy/provider of hard ciders/oven checker.
@copperbadge, I’m not expecting you to reply to this, but I feel like this is a recipe that is both mild enough and flexible enough that it might appeal to your supertaster and inclination for kitchen experimentation.
I’m assuming this is your doing, Hell 😀
The will of the people (at least, 52 of them) is clearly that I make pretzel bites, and I’ve got the time before I leave for the ball game at noon. I’ve always been rather nervous about trying because of the whole boiling thing, but last week I successfully made a frittata so I’m on a roll.
I have no brown sugar so we’re gonna kludge this the old-fashioned way, with white sugar and maple syrup.
Think black tea makes you feel good? You’re right. It’s been proven to help you de-stress fast. It also helps eliminate bad breath. Plus medical research indicates that it lowers the risk of heart attacks and strokes, and reduces bad cholesterol.
Green tea
Want to stay slim, trim and beautiful? The antioxidants in green tea just might slow signs of aging, prevent the flu and raise your metabolism. More dramatically, it’s being shown to prevent and slow cancer, and help with arthritis and bad cholesterol too.
Oolong tea
This one’s known as a fat-buster in China, and science is indicating that it does indeed speed up your metabolism, burn fat and block fat absorption! Use it to fight expanding waistlines, high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease.
White tea
Science is saying that white tea might be more effective than even green tea at preventing cell damage, shrinking cancerous tumours and stopping the growth of cancer cells. Plus it’s becoming the new cosmetic fix for aging skin. Beautiful!
Pu’erh tea
Traditional Chinese medicine prizes Pu’erh as a wonder tea. It’s said to aid digestion, cleanse the blood and help with weight loss. Studies in Europe are also saying it busts cholesterol as effectively as some medications.
Rooibos tea
It’s said that rooibos helps you recover from hangovers, and that it could slow dementia. Plus there’s evidence that it fights skin cancer and boosts the immune system. And it’s supposed to help with insomnia!
Yerba tea
Yerba mate is a fabulous stimulant, without the jitters. It’s also full of antioxidants, so there’s scientific speculation that it could have anti-cancer properties, help stimulate the immune system and protect against disease.
Herbal tea
Herbs, spices, fruits and flowers have long been used in traditional medicine to cure everything from headaches, stomach bugs and colds to stress and insomnia. The power of the tea depends on its ingredients.
Our Lemon Bliss Bundt Cake is a lovely golden lemon cake, extra-moist and nicely tangy due to its fresh lemon juice glaze. Baking this cake in a Bundt pan turns it from everyday to special-occasion, perfect for everything from birthday parties to an elegant dinner. Our thanks to Maida Heatter, grande dame of delicious desserts, for the inspiration behind this recipe.
Pasta is great. It’s like hey, let me take delicious things like butter,or meat, or tomatoes or basil and then let me just fuckin mix whatever the fuck i want in and combine it with some random ass noodles.
That’s basically pasta.
BUT, there’s a big difference between “basically pasta” and “holy shit food of the gods” pasta, and that is that the latter has some rules that must be followed.
10 PASTA COMMANDMENTS COMIN UP:
Always boil pasta in boiling SALTED water. Ever had a dish where you forgot to salt it before cooking it, and no matter how much seasoning you did post saute/sear, it still sort of tasted bland on the inside? Same goes for pasta. Your sauce could be fuckin on point, but if you don’t salt dat pasta water, ya fugged, bruh.
Always have your sauce ready BEFORE the pasta. Pestos, emulsified butter sauces, bolognese sauces, they should be in their respective sauce pans, heated and ready to go (unless we’re takin pesto or carbonarashit, as those go bad with heat). The worst thing you could do is fuck up and overcook your delicious pasta bc you were too busy making or finishing up your sauce.
Always TASTE your pasta. I don’t care if the package says it’s ready in 1 minute or an hour, taste your pasta from the boiling water at least 2 minutes in, and every 2 minutes after that. Al dente’s usually the way to go, but you’ll never know when to take it out if you’re not constantly tasting.
DO NOT strain your pasta, wasting your pasta water and allowing your pasta to cool. Use tongs to take pasta straight up form the boiling water (don’t dry it, nerds) and throw it in your sauce. A little pasta water gets in? no probs, and I’ll tell you why.
If your sauce is reducing too much, or it’s too tight, add pasta water. It’s salted and hot and ready to go, it won’t dilute the flavor at all, you’re golden duude. golden.
Finish your pasta in the sauce, allow it to become homogenous, let the sauce stick to the pasta, BECOME ONE WITH THE PASTA BRUH.
Add cheese last, because cheese get’s weird and fucked up in hot pans, so it’s best to throw that on right before you’re ready to eat that shit up.
4 oz is a normal serving size for pasta. If you don’t have a scale, that’s basically like the first pic above. If you hold the pasta like such, and the width of the bunch is a little smaller than an american quarter, then ur good 2 go bruh.
Dry pastas are not better/worse than fresh pasta. They’re legit just made with different flours using different procedures. One isn’t ‘fancier’ than the other u pretentious buttrockets.
PASTA IS NOT SCARY, IT’S DELICIOUS. These rules look tough, but honestly it’s not that bad bruh. I believe in u.
and now, onto the recipe I used for my pasta. It’s a restaurant favorite, we always make it on the line because it’s simple, delicious and super filling.
~
Caciopepe Pasta serves: 1 (lol like id share this with ppl lolol)
–
Ingredients-
salt water for boiling (just salt some water, don’t fuckin travel to the beach in hopes of created the most bomb pasta ever)
1 bunch of pasta
2 bay leaves
1 sprig thyme
cold butter (approximately 2/3 cups cut into small pads
parmesan cheese to taste
a shit ton of black pepper to taste
–
Procedure-
Throw some pasta into some boiling water and do that thing where you constantly taste test the pasta to see if it’s ready. In the meantime, make ur sauce u lazy bumbum.
Add a little boiling pasta water to a saute pan over low heat, and whisk/mix in the butter quickly till it’s creamy and emulsified. If it’s too thick, just whisk in a teeny bit of pasta water. Add 2 bay leaves and a sprig of thyme for aroma, remove when pasta’s ready.
Once the pasta’s ready to rock and roll, use tongs to scoop it up and place it in the sauce. Flip and mix using tongs. Add cheese and crack a lot of pepper. Add salt if it needs seasoning, add more pasta water if the sauce tightens.
and bam, ya ready to roll.
~
I promise u if you use these pasta techniques, people will think ur literally a GOD. ur welcs.
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