Bring me ALL the Jewish Marvel headcanons. Today we need them more than ever.
- Steve Rogers requests a Bar Mitsvah when he gets unfrozen, cause he missed his second one by sleeping through his 83rd year.
- Bucky Barnes was a member of the Bagel Bakers Local 338
- Sam Wilson sits Shiva for Riley
- Peggy Carter’s grave is filled so quickly by her friends and family that they don’t need gravediggers
- Tony Stark sometimes wonders if the Arc Reactor could be marketed to synagogues as a Ner Tamid
- Pepper Potts’ grandfather called her “Peppila”
- The first time Bruce Banner comes back from his transformation, he says the
Shehecheyanu
- In Israel, people call Thor “Makebet” and he is known to get an inordinate number of Hanukkah party invites
- Natasha Romanoff can pull herself out of flashbacks by reciting the shema
- Clint Barton only goes to synagogue on Kol Nidre, and won’t let anyone go with him
- Nick Fury’s hebrew name is Niv Amichai, for his grandfather
THIS IS SUCH A GOOD
- Magneto says the shema when anything vaguely dangerous starts happening. It’s a habit. He recites it under his breathe more out of habit that anything else now, he’s suffered but at least he’s alive. He’s genuinely surprised when he watches Billy do the same thing years later.
- Tommy and Pietro compete to about can read
haggadah passages the fastest so they can get to food sooner.
- Wanda uses her powers to show “animated” versions of the stories to the her and Pietro’s children every holiday.
- Kitty will get vegetarian options if they’re at a non kosher restaurant.
- Robbie Reyes worries for months about whether or not he’s able to step into a shule after becoming the Ghost Rider because he knows Gabe’s Bar Mitzvah is coming up (via @russianspacegeckosexparty )
- Elijah Bradley makes sure to light Yartzeit candles for his grandfather every year.
- Isaiah Bradley is extra proud to be going against Nazis, because he knows he embodies every last thing they hate, and that he will win.
- Kate Bishop had a super fancy Bat Mitzvah party, and no one realizes her favorite part of the whole day was receiving the silver wine glass handed down on her mother’s side.
Tag: headcanon
I love the idea of Clint teaching archery lessons at the mansion on the weekends. He must just have so much fun. Especially when people suck at it.
[Dr. Strange 8, 2016]
The best part is that not only does he teach archery classes for other superheroes in his spare time, apparently he gives them grades. Do you think he went to the teacher supply store and bought a book of blank report cards, or just made his own? Do they get a certificate if they pass the class? Which superheroes have their archery certificates framed on the wall?
I am 100% convinced that Clint deliberately dug up a dot-matrix printer from somewhere and he prints terrible, hideous certificates of achievement with little ASCII archers in the corners to give as diplomas. (If you do especially well he breaks out the mimeograph and gives you a special purple one.)
They are treasured prizes in the superhero community and Steve’s went for fifty grand when he donated it to a charity auction.
Tony has two on his office wall, one for Iron Man and one for Tony Stark, from back before his identity was public. They’re in fireproof plexi on either side of his diploma from MIT.
so I’ve got this headcanon that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling
Mostly from Steve
Especially from Steve
Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by –
Tony who just created what he sees himself as – the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.
Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesn’t get metaphors)
and Bruce who’s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says “I am Groot” and lets Steve decide
Oh my god.
Headcanon accepted so hard
now in light of GOTG2
Sam joined in last minute so Bucky gave him a pre-rolled NPC That no one really cared for just to mess with him. Sam actually put a lot of thought into it though and managed to turn Yandu into a loveable character. (imagine Sam throwing a critical saving throw then excitedly yelling “I’M MARY POPPINS Y’ALL”)
Bruce, after making a sacrifice play at the end of the last session (hoping this would get him out of future game nights so he could focus on work) had to star over even though he insisted on keeping the same character. Baby Groot was the compromise.
Clint, who at first refused to join in something so ‘nerdy’ was convinced (forced) to participate by Natasha. Since he had no experience Bucky set him up and gave him Nebula. Clint then proceeded to screw with Natasha the entire night.
Wanda, wanting to reflect her experience of coming to america and suddenly facing unknown culture, plays Mantis.
Yep yep yep
@tetrodotoxinb you’ve seen this, right
also anyone, please write this
Can you imagine Steve Rogers discovering PBS?
The documentaries and science and nature programs. The nice educational kid’s shows. Just all of it. Enjoying the gentle ribbing of his friends about being Mister Rogers.
Then finding out that the government wants to defund PBS.
Deciding to take up another sacred mantle.
Steve Rogers appearing before the Senate wearing a sweater, looking at the Senators with disappointment.
“Years ago another Mister Rogers stood here. I think it’s a shame I have to stand here now.”
So do you think he was remembering falling from the train? And what came after? And hoping he’d get to die this time and not trusting it would happen because Zemo, like Zola is around and capable of malice? And is just tired.
sarah rogers had the patience of a saint, and loved her troublemakers very much.
She taught Steve how to play poker and how to cheat so that he’d know if someone was putting one up on him. She taught him how to play chess and one memorable afternoon, when Steve was too sick to go to school, she spent it detailing one of Napoleon’s military campaigns.
(Sarah loved history, especially military history. Her Da used to call her The Morrigan, Boudicaa the Queen and she’d laugh and toss her head and say, maybe so. It was what made Joseph Rogers fall in love with her.)
Bucky would make it just in time, with Steve’s homework, as Sarah Rogers would get to the part about Napoleon Bonaparte’s attempt to conquer Russia.
This was when the boys would first learn that ancient proverb: Never attack Russia in winter.
She bandaged up hurts and kissed bruises better and even Bucky didn’t escape the coddling because, “Oh no you don’t, Bucko, I am not sending you back to your mother like that.”
Sarah Rogers knew a lot of things and would stare you down coldly if you mouthed off about “knowledge not suitable for the “weaker sex.” Her general response to that was, “Sir, you come back to me after pushing out an eight pound child out of your nether regions and then speak about us being the ‘weaker’ sex.”
Sarah was not often given to vulgarity but she had little patience for fools. She hated bullies as much as her son did.
Sarah Rogers had the difficult task of being father and mother to her boy Steve. She managed to be both. Exceptionally well.
She called Bucky “Bucko” and he got just as many hugs as Steve did, mainly because she could see how much he loved her boy, looked out for him and was, indeed, the best and dearest friend he could ever have.
The boys still miss her to this very day.
AU where Bucky gets a service dog.
It was Sam’s idea. Him being the most qualified on the areas of rehab for former soldiers after all. Although Bucky might be the worst case of PTSD anyone had ever come across. Bucky could handle himself just fine during the day. He had been hard wired to deal with anything and everything no matter the pressure. A lot of things would make him tense suddenly. Certain situations sent him into red alert for no reason. He grits his teeth. He handles it. He tells no one.
The nightmares however, were becoming a serious problem. Several months of sleep deprivation can wear down even the toughest of super soldiers, and Steve starts to take notice.
They visit a training center to meet several rehab dogs looking for partners. The slight tug of a smile on Bucky’s face as he meets them is worth the visit by itself. He chooses a huge black lab. It’s a big bear of an animal with a tail that could clear a coffee table in seconds, and yet it’s so gentle and patient.
They pick up an extra large dog bed on the way home, but one look in those liquid brown eyes and Bucky instantly lets the giant lab join him on the bed.
Maybe it’s knowing that someone with even sharper ears than him is in the room to let him know if danger is coming. Maybe it’s just the big warm body and that slow, deep, breathing that is so calming. Maybe it’s just having a friend nearby, but for the first time in a long time, Bucky finally sleeps all the way through the night.
Oh no, they didn’t.
Wait…..he’s that close to me?????? *jumps in car*
I did NOT need any help with the idea that Renner’s other roles are actual Clint Barton cover identities, thxu. *files this away for further reference*
Sam Wilson was an NCO, not an officer
Have to get this off my chest, because I see Sam called Major a lot.
Pararescueman (Sometimes called Parajumpers or PJs) in the USAF, which we’re told Sam was, is an enlisted position. Sam Wilson was a non-commissioned officer – I’m gonna guess he was at least a Sergeant and given the level of specialised training, probably a Staff Sergeant.
Pararescuemen have officers – they are called Combat Rescue Officers. They have most of the same training (though not all in as much detail) plus officer/strategic training. The idea is that the PJs are the detail guys (concentrating on individual casualties) the CRO keeps a wider, coordinating view, so doesn’t (or at least tries not to) get tied down with his hands stuck in somebody’s guts. I don’t think it is very likely a CRO would be strapping on a wingsuit, but in any case if Sam says he was Pararescue that means by definition that he was an NCO.
(Why does this bother me? Because while I think for most writers it’s a well-meant ‘well he was brave and important, must have been an officer’ that’s ignoring the many highly trained and skilled people who can be found among the NCOs. Making Sam an officer may feel like valueing him up, but it’s also kind of valueing NCOs down)
Yes, this. As a general thing in Hollywood, really, which is probably where a lot of fandom people gets their cues — all military peeps of importance and/or intelligence must be commissioned officers.
It’s overly simplistic to say “he’s a leader, ergo he’s an officer” or “he’s got a college degree, he’s got to be an officer.” You can be a great leader and hold a BA (or Ph.D) while also wearing an NCO’s sword.
Officers, NCOs, and junior enlisteds all have different functions in a military system. NCOs are the glue, the sine qua non of any military — and if you want to know why some RL militaries have trouble being competent, it’s generally because they have no tradition of NCOs. NCOs are the repositories of institutional wisdom and the ones who have learned from experience and the ones who are not only supposed to teach the junior enlisteds what to do, they’re also supposed to provide guidance for officers as well. They are the ones who know how to get shit done while the officers make Powerpoint slides. *g*
(And for the record, I’ve been writing Sam Wilson as a Technical Sergeant, E-6.)
This. Also, Bucky Barnes, platoon sergeant. I have some serious headcanon about that. Dunno what, if any of it, would have survived being the Winter Soldier but Bucky as one of the senior NCOs of the Howling Commandos would have gotten shit done in ways that Steve would have not had a clue about for the first few months.
See also: Band of Brothers, Bastogne ep.
i just want a story about steve rogers
not the story your thinking of, the one where he fucks someone or gets fucked by someone or even has his ~delicate sensibilities~ rocked by tony stark
no, i want a story about steve rogers being introduced to the internet
and not the internet you’re thinking of, the porn and the RPF and reddit, not the internet that’s used to “shock” him in interviews
i want steve rogers, clever tactician, to understand that the internet is a place where he can catch up on things without being made fun of and where he can spend time getting to know people and the world in relative anonymity
and in this story, i want steve to unwittingly do something like make an ignorant comment about dysphoria
because i have no doubt that steve is far from ignorant about sexuality and its permutations, but a lot of discourse about gender didn’t get rolling until after he went into the ice, and i don’t think he would have the vocabulary to discuss it regardless of how aware of it he was before the war
and instead of jumping on him, i want some people on the internet to assume (somewhat correctly) that he is a brand new baby to all of this, and they gently drop essays into his askbox – they submit lists of youtube videos and links to webcomics
and steve? he realizes that he knows that feel
he knows what it feels like to not belong in the body you have, and he knows what it feels like to have to adjust to changes after having one body your whole life until that point
and sure, he gets hate. he gets people in his inbox calling him every name in the book, he gets people spitting at his politics as often as he gets people spitting at his ignorance on just about every current social issue, he gets people who ride him about “just googling it” before he asks for something small like a definition or a name
but he also gets the people who identify with him
he shares his stories about bullies, about childhood illnesses, about difficulty hearing and difficulty breathing and losing his mom to something that seems so preventable now
he shares his missteps and his low points because these people? even if they don’t know its him they deserve his vulnerability and his honesty and, if he’s honest with himself, he’s found a community in them
the girl with the flowers on her blog who is studying art because its the only thing she’s ever felt close to
the blog run by the hockey fan who delightedly brings him up to date when he casually mentions he used to follow new york but its been a while
the blog with all of the queer headcanons, run by a lovely nonbinary person that he only really followed because fae were one of the first to talk to him, that occasionally breaks his heart but also pushes him to understand why it makes him uncomfortable – the one that gave natasha sad eyes the one time he mentioned it
the boy-sometimes-not who humored and engaged him in his first discussion of his own experience with what might be dysphoria
the student from the philippines who sympathizes with him about idioms and slang and the struggle to learn them
the blog about women in history, who delights when he submits to them essays and photos and information about the women he worked with and admired
the writer who put out a call for people willing to share their experiences with ptsd, who treated him with respect even when he got upset at their questions
steve finds a community of people on the internet who simultaneously care and don’t care who he is outside of their interactions
give me this story, give me this steve – not just the steve who gets caught up on the 21st century with the help of his team, but the steve with initiative, the steve who is proud and doesn’t want to rely on others, the steve who is clever and resourceful and plans his internet adventures the same way he planned his missions with the commandos – that is to say, with a lot of forethought that’s thrown out the windows as soon as he’s got boots on the “ground”
give me a steve discovering words and concepts that give context and depth and meaning to his experiences in ways he never considered before
give me a steve who doesn’t wait for others to lead him to the things he “should” know
give me a steve with a growing list of things to watch or read or listen to or eat or experience based on input from strangers on the internet
give me a steve who is regularly disappointed with the people he meets in person, but is also consistently surprised by the goodwill and enthusiasm of the people he encounters on the internet
but most of all, give me a steve who is still a 20-something. give me a steve who is still getting used to his body and his health and his life, a steve who is forced to make a new place for himself, but damn anyone who tries to lead that horse to water
give me that steve
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