tjhcmmond:
“That line was an interesting moment. At the time, the choice I was making is that [Bucky] had realized there was no way he was getting out of there, and someone was gonna die, whether it was gonna be him, Steve or Tony. When he says that line, to me, it was a turning point
—
he was, like, ‘Okay, I know what you want me to say, and I’m just gonna say it.’ When someone comes at you over and over again, and they can’t hear you, they can’t see you’re pleading with them, you’re trying to figure out how to get through to them and they just won’t accept it, at some point you just give in, and you go, ‘that’s right, that’s what you want.’ Of course [Bucky] didn’t remember them all.”
—
Sebastian Stan
Wow. I had
honestly taken this statement at face value but if this is true then Bucky
lying about the extent of what he remembers isn’t an isolated incident, it becomes
a pattern, a strategy: Bucky intentionally
and deliberately using his memories, the only thing he truly owns at this
point, as a bargaining chip throughout the entire course of the movie to steer the
events if not in his favor, then at the very least toward what he considers an acceptable
outcome, namely sparing everyone else, and especially Steve, the pain of having
to deal with his shit. We talk a lot about Bucky’s lack of agency, but this right
here? This is him seizing and wielding the only tool at his disposal to exert
some influence on the narrative, despite having been left with almost no options.
In
Bucharest, he lies to make Steve go away. He wants Steve to distrust him, to
give up on him, and the only way he can see of accomplishing that is to pretend
that there’s not a “Bucky” anymore. He tries to shut Steve out completely, tries
to not even look (and fails, but he’s only human) as Steve is escorted away from
the glass cage. When he’s alone with the alleged psychologist though, he has no
reason to think Steve’s listening and no reason to lie, so he tells the truth,
a truth that is very important to him, especially in the face of being once
again trapped and examined by people who look at him and see only a weapon: “my
name is Bucky”.
Later, as
he wakes up with his arm trapped in the vice, he is hurt and disoriented and so
relieved when he sees Steve, that he can’t hide it. But it doesn’t matter,
because he quickly realizes that there’s no point in pretending anymore: Steve has
just done exactly what Bucky feared from the start: compromised himself for
Bucky in a way that he can’t take back. And Sam too. They made their choice, stupidly,
impossibly: they’re here for him. They need Bucky’s honesty now, or it will be
all for nothing. So Bucky gives it to them. He finally tells Steve that he
knows him, that he remembers him (the fact that it makes him so desperately
happy to be able to recite every trivial little detail, every hard won scrap of
memory that is a testament to how much Steve means to him, is made all the more
heartbreaking by the fact that he only does it because it’s become necessary). He
tells Steve and Sam about his encounter with Zemo, about the Siberian facility,
about the making and training of the other Winter Soldiers. The three of them
have a common objective now, a mission, and Bucky needs them, wants them, to
trust him.
It’s clear that
Bucky put a lot of effort into stitching together all the bits and pieces of
memory he could dredge up. And he did a good job of it. Does he already
know that there are still things he’s missing? Or does he realize that only when he sees the
beginning of that video? Given how committed he is to record and preserve in
writing whatever comes back to him, does that realization make him feel like he’s
failed all over again those people he couldn’t even remember killing?
Whatever the
answer, if we believe Sebastian’s words, in that moment up there Bucky is choosing
to lie again. Telling Tony what Tony wants to hear. Giving Tony the excuse Tony
clearly is looking for to just go ahead and murder him. He has reached the
conclusion that someone is going to die in that place, and he says what he
hopes will ensure that that someone will be him.
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