bangawang:

(inspired by this series)

• You were small and sickly as a child but experienced a miraculous form of puberty.
• Alternatively, you continued to be small as an adult, but being cute as a bug in a rug gets you lots of action.

• You have multiple chronic illnesses, but thanks to modern medicine, they’re relatively treatable. And by relatively, we mean completely. Your diabetes hardly bothers you at all.

• Your ex boyfriend is an abusive jackoff with nothing better to do than torment you and your new boyfriend.

• Your new boyfriend is always saying he’s “with you till the end of the line.” You suspect it’s a reference, but you’re afraid to ask.

• Someone’s ironic Brooklyn Dodgers sweatshirt is hanging attractively off one shoulder.

• Your neighbor is both the hottest guy in the world and the most boring. You swear, it’s like he’s 90 years old. 

• There is a comic shop, or a cafe, or a tattoo shop, or a library nearby, and the guy who works there is really hot.

• Yours is the easiest apartment to break into in all of Brooklyn, but luckily, no one ever breaks in but cats and hot guys.

• Actually, now that you think of it, you’ve never met a single non-hot guy in your life.

• You have an implausible, yet undeniable, obsession with Harry Potter. Your boyfriend tolerates it in exchange for you not complaining about his Taylor Swift habit.

• There has been a Misunderstanding.

• Someone gets drunk and the results are almost irrevocable.

• There is time to make and eat pancakes every morning.

• The ailing Port of New York and New Jersey, once one of the busiest centers of transport and trade in the world, seems to have ceased all operations in Brooklyn. There are no docks anywhere.

• There is also no gluten.
• You are out of excuses. You agree to attend the support group.

post aided and abetted by @notallbees