Finwe: Family Infighting Apparent In Funeral Guest Book
Miriel: Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious
Indis: Man Likes Woman So Much He Marries Her
Feanor: Mother Trying Her Best To Project Same Amount Of Insecurities Onto All Her Daughters
Fingolfin: Lofty Ambitions To Shovel Entire Width Of Driveway Scaled Back To Only Shoveling Thin Path For Car
Finarfin: Study: Majority Of Humans Happiest When Rest Of Family Still Asleep
Maedhros: True Courage Is Knowing You’re Wrong But Refusing To Admit It
Maglor: Local Man Might As Well Just Give Up
Celegorm: Man’s Relationship Advice Same As His Hunting Tips
Caranthir: Cousins Meaner This Year
Curufin: Trophy Son Half Father’s Age
Ambarussa: Coast Guard Sinks Vacant Ship
Fingon: Vanquished Foe’s Skull Makes Surprisingly Bad Wine Goblet
Turgon: Congress Members Spend Afternoon Drawing Pictures Of Their Dream Capitals
Elenwe: Emergency Crews Attempt To Rescue Olympic Figure Skater Who Fell Through Ice
Aredhel: Woman Had No Idea Participating In 5K Walk Could Be So Unrewarding
Argon: BREAKING: Friend Who Just Got Motorcycle Already Dead
Finrod: Report: None Of Good Cousins Coming To Thanksgiving This Year
Angrod: Report: That Was Very Stupid Thing To Say
Aegnor: How One Hot New Device Helps Couples Drag Out Their Doomed Relationship That Extra Month Or Two
Galadriel: Sole Surviving Bridge Club Member Didn’t Want To Win Like This
Celebrimbor: Captor, Captive Have Different Senses Of Humor
Idril: Woman Leaving Meeting Worried She Came Off As Too Competent
Maeglin: Nuclear Warhead Thrilled For Chance To Finally Escape North Korea
Orodreth: It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job
Finduilas: Geopolitical Balance Of Power Somehow Unaffected By Death Of Princess
i realize i’m maybe like, the Nichest of markets here, but i really really really desperately want to watch further adventures of Diana Prince, Curator of Antiquities™
…like, imagine the interdepartmental meetings
Diana: we have recently acquired several exquisite pieces of very early minoan kamares ware. i feel a refresh of the gallery might encourage our visitors to–
some marketing dipshit: look, we can’t get people in the door for pottery. we need another big show, like can you get a vermeer or–
Diana of Themiscrya, Amazon, God-Killer, Daughter of Hippolyta: pottery is important
some marketing dipshit, lightly pissing himself: i agree
THIS but also I just wanted to add that although logic dictates that Diana has to move around bc of the whole immortal thing I’m so enamored with the idea of “Mlle. Prince Has Always Been At the Louvre” in which everyone who works there just thinks it’s too gauche to bring up that she should be 95.
oh my God, yes, headcanon 100000000% accepted
“non, emil. never again ask why her file system uses the pre-war numbering. you are new here. we do not speak of this.”
i woke up still mad about joss whedon. especially about this: “… you’ve got delusions of grandeur and some actual grandeur, which is confusing. i don’t like confusing.”
the Fuck! this is what misogyny looks like. “you seem complex and layered, and that bothers me.” the Fuck??????? women characters are PEOPLE. having men characters react negatively to their complexity is a denial of women’s full humanity. it’s especially ugly to do this when the character is a power fantasy specifically for women. male power fantasy characters– like every other fucking superhero ever– are REWARDED for complexity or depth or even contradiction. (or take any dude anti-hero. that’s what an anti-hero IS: a character that can’t be nailed down to either wholly one thing or the other, assigned good or bad.) what lady love interest in a male superhero film is EVER like “oh, you’re tough but also tender… stubborn and angry but consumed with truth and justice…. which is super confusing, i need you to settle on a single trait.” no!! no!!! it doesn’t happen! their complexity is considered fascinating and compelling and humanizing!!!!
telling women that their heroes and power fantasies are threatening is fucking devastating. it says, go back in the box, if you want us to love you. “be simpler, be less complex, your complexity is a challenge to me. my boner wants you, but my pride wants you humbled before me.” Fuck You!!!!! Fuck You!!!!!! i hope patty jenkins’ wonder woman comes to life like in the “last action hero” and fucking throws rocks at you!!!! big fucking rocks!!!!!
contrast that terrible steve to the steve we saw on-screen in a woman-directed movie: a steve who was kind and mature, who had an urge to help and protect her, but who in combat almost IMMEDIATELY shifted himself to a support position because he recognized and respected her power and 100% knew she should be taking the lead. THAT’S how you pair up a fucking literal goddess of love and justice and a regular-ass man: you make him someone who is deeply inspired by her, you make him someone who is striving to rise to her level. you don’t try to drag her down so he’s more comfortable using her as a footstool!! joss whedon you fucking creep!!!! you fucking lizard person!!!!!!!
goddamn, the joss whedon wonder woman script. goddamn. “you know what powerful women need? to get knocked down a peg or two, really get humbled”
women need… humbling????? ?? ? sir have you seen…. History????? Jesus Christ. jerkoff wheatthin, stop thinking that writing men’s attraction to powerful women as shitty and resentful and reluctant is some kinda fucking compliment. elizabeth bennet in the year of our lord eighteen fuckity-something already taught us that saying “i resent that i’m so in love with you” ain’t a fucking compliment and it should be treated with the fucking contempt it deserves. you are stale flavorless bread dough, a faux feminist khaki sock-sandal hack motherfucker. we know a woman intimidated you once and you think that makes you special and different and qualified to judge and quantify all powerful women everywhere forever now, but here’s what we’d like you to do: shut the fuck up, you obtuse sack of millet
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